This Thursday August 10th, 2004, Ava’s friend, affectionately know as ‘the boxer’ committed suicide. I know this may seem awfully morbid, but in the midst of such a sorrowful event, there are things to be learnt, and things we can do.

On Thursday night, Ava saw on the TV that ‘boxer’ had died, and immediately phoned his family to find out what had happened. We went together to where it had taken place. Ava was obviously shocked as she had actually gone out with ‘boxer’ for quite a while before, and was still good friends with him. I was not sure what to think. When we got there, his family were there and we went upstairs to the apartment.

There he was. The big cheerful looking guy who I had met before, lying under a bag on the floor of the apartment. Ava burst into tears, while it took me a little longer. But still now a day later, tears come to my eyes as I write this.

After something like this happens, some of the first things to happen are people start asking questions like “Why didn’t he tell us?” “How could this happen.” “Why didn’t he just call.” In the wake of the persons death are a trail of people who mourn for the loss of someone they love. One of the saddest things for me to think about is to imagine how much pain and suffering he must have been hiding from others that he could go this far.

How could someone not know how much they are loved by so many.

But so often we hide our feelings from other people, we’re scared to expose ourselves to the criticism of others which is often what we get when we are completely honest. My appeal to everyone is to show and tell those you love, that you do. NEVER assume the people you love know you do. Tell them and show them. Our lives are a gift from God, you never know when things will change, when that person will be gone, or what may happen in the future.

Jesus commanded us “to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, and with all you strength” after this he said “and love your neighbour as yourself.” That’s not the person who lives next to you, it’s every single other human being put onto this planet. Love everyone. Our time on this earth is short, we are given the gift of life, but one day we will die. Jesus said “love your neighbour.” What more can we do than to love others, this covers everything. No matter what techniques there might be to help people or whatever, you need to LOVE them. Nothing else matters. Everything will pass away, your things will be gone, you can’t take them with you, no more fancy car or house.

The only gift you can give that will last for all eternity, is the knowledge of God and his son Jesus Christ. What God has done is undeniable, service to him is the only answer. We are all searching, whether we know it or not, and the answer is Christ.

But the most important is to tell them of the love of God.

He always loves you, no matter what.

His sacrifice to you was his one and only son Jesus Christ.

So my appeal to everyone is to love others. Show others the love that God has for you. It’s the gift for life, and the time thereafter.

If ‘boxer’ had know the infinite love of the Lord, who knows what would have happened, but as God is the King of everything, pray that He revealed himself to ‘boxer’ and that as he saw the awsome love of God he found that love that he seemed to not feel here.

God bless all of you.

I have been talking about blame in my previous two articles, and how it is so destructive.

But what other choice do we have?

Firstly, we are humans, born free. What I mean is that we are free in our own minds. Nobody can take away what we have in our own heads, at least not yet. No matter what our situation, we are the one who is solely in charge of our own mind.

But that does not mean that our mind is perfect.

What we think is influenced in so many different ways by so many diffferent things. Sometimes it is influenced by what happened in our childhood. Maybe it is influenced by some other event, like the death of a family member or something. It could be effected by even small incidents.

So, back on track now.

My point I am trying to get to is how much impact we have over our own thoughts. We are not slave to our thoughts, our thoughts are created by us. It’s your mind, and trying to say something like, “I can’t help it, that’s just the way I am.” implies that you do not have control over it. You do. Also, your thoughts dictate your actions, so it implies the things you do are not of your own making, but yet you are the owner of your own mind and thoughts.

I do not mean to say this is easy to change, it often takes a great effort to do, and might take someone years to figure out.

Take control of your thoughts and start taking action. Once you realise the power you have to change, it will be amazing how you could ever have thought you never had control. By taking action and making a direct difference you will increase the number of ‘positive’ thoughts you have about whatever it is and your thoughts will change. If you mumble and moan, you will increase the bad feeling because that is all that is on your mind. Which would you rather choose?

Freedom is quite apparent in the life of Jesus.

For example, in the time when Jesus was around there was quite a stigma, as there is still today about talking to prostitutes, and in that day even to women in an open way, especially when you don’t know them. When Jesus spoke with the woman by the well, imagine how strange it must have been for the others who saw it. But yet he did it because his focus was God and not the ‘status’ of the other person. Jesus also had dinners with other ‘unclean’ people, like tax collectors.

What kept the disiples from speaking to certain people, did not stop Jesus.

So when Jesus says, “You shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” I’ve sometimes wondered how much we will know. Those shackles that keep you tied, which might even just be in your own head, are undone through the love of God. The blinkers are removed and you will finally know, the truth.

So the answer: follow Jesus. He will set you free.

God bless, until next time.

PS. Remember, God has given us a manual for life, the Bible. If it does not answer your questions, perhaps you are asking the wrong ones.